What You Must Know Before Getting Back To Dating
All those who assume that they are out of the dating scene just because they have herpes could not be more wrong. There is no reason to stop looking for love and happiness. However, there are several things that you need to understand before you consider dating someone, some of which have been mentioned as follows:
The Details of Herpes
Herpes is not just of one type; there is herpes type 1 and herpes type 2, the first causing blisters around the mouth, while the latter causing sores and blisters around the genitals. Herpes is quite common among the population of the United States of America: at least 20-30% have it.
Since Herpes Is Common, People May Be Rather Accepting About It
As mentioned earlier, a large portion of America has this condition. This ensures a good chance that, when you mention your problem to them, they will understand and help you cope with it. It is true that there exist some people who could be demeaning once you disclose your secret to them. However, it is also true that your own will definitely support you through this, whether or not they find herpes unpleasant.
You Are You Not The Disease Itself
Once an individual is diagnosed with herpes, all they think about are the consequences, wallowing in sadness. What you must know is that you are not the disease itself. If you are worried about dating and sex, relax, since with enough education and caution it will be easy to handle a perfect relationship with a partner. Also, if you are just in the dating scene, you need to keep in mind that not all people will be in it just for the sex.
There Are Ways You Could Reduce the Risk of Giving It to Others
A common train of thought among herpes patients is that they jump to the conclusion that they will pass on the condition to all those around them, by small acts like a handshake or a hug. However, that is not the case; both type 1 and type 2 herpes are spread by other ways. Suppressive therapy could help patients decrease the number of outbreaks, along with reducing the chances of transmission.
In the case of sexual intercourse and even oral sex, it is best that condoms are used. These reduce the likelihood of transmissions too, in an effective manner. Needless to say, practicing safe sex also keeps other sexually transmitted diseases at bay.
Bringing Up Herpes In Front Of Your Partner
After the diagnosis, it may make you queasy just thinking about disclosing the secret to your partner. But if you happen to expect/want a sexual relationship with him/her, they must be warned beforehand. This not only keeps them away from the risks of contracting the disease from you, but also brings a sense of trust towards you. However, you need not blurt it out without thinking about the time, place and person. For instance, if it is a one-day date, you need not put yourself in a sticky or embarrassing position by stating that you have herpes. However, if you are considering a one night stand, you have to let them know.
The perfect moment is crucial; you cannot let them know just right before having sex or after having sex. In short, they need to be given some time to think over it and let you know what they think of the matter. If you tell them just before having sex, they may give in in the heat of the moment. This could be problematic afterwards if they contract herpes from you and blame it all on you.
Do not let it become awkward. If you have genital herpes, kissing and cuddling will not transmit the virus to them. Therefore, you need not tell them about herpes just because of that. However, it is up to you, whether you want to be honest on day one or just wait till you have established some trust and depth in your relationship.
In The Face of Rejection
Anyone who is looking forward to dating someone should prepare themselves for rejection, regardless of whether or not they have herpes.If your partner happens to mention that they just wish to be friends, there is a chance that they are put off by the fact that you have herpes. But there is an equal chance that they were already looking for a way out of the relationship. Moreover, whoever brings you down for your condition is not worth your time, effort and love. Lastly, never forget that the right person will not reject you, whether or not you suffer from herpes.